Thursday, October 21, 2010

Allie Brosh, you're famous!

Dear Allie Brosh, esteemed author of Hyperbole and a Half, it is that day you've been waiting for, longing for- I am the messenger goddess of the Great Olympians come to inform you:

You're famous!

That's right. If you haven't figured it out by now, you're very well known! And popular too! It's all your secret dreams come true! Right up there with discovering Candy-Cake Mountain and Donut Heaven. Not to worry, those will come next. For now, why don't you enjoy your fame and fortune?

I live in a little city right outside of Dallas, and one morning not too long ago I was walking through my college library when I noticed out of the corner of my eye someone on a computer reading the most recent Hyperbole and a Half post. I experienced something similar to the feeling of hearing about a second cousin publishing a best selling novel. Not close enough to the person to actually be able to take any kind of claim to their fame but still- they're your second cousin! That's like... Something? Right?

But I also felt like I had discovered this incredible secret you'd been searching the earth over for and I had to get it to you as soon as possible!! As soon as possible being about a week or two later. Time is relative to the severity of your ADHD.

So anyway, where was I? OH YEAH. YOU'RE FAMOUS ALLIE BROSH! How many times have I said that now? Twelve? Hey Allie Brosh, do you mind if I call you Allie? Ok. Hey Allie, do you want us to throw you a 'You're Famous Now Allie Brosh' party? It would be epic! I don't know what we'd do... Probably spam the internet and spread anarchy, or eat cake. TOO MANY CHOICES!



These are actually just penises surprised disguised as innocent smilies...


Don't you hate it when you're in a public place using the internet? Because when someone comes to sit down next to you, you *know* they're always glancing over at what you're doing. No matter how many times you tell yourself, people aren't like that, they're more respectful of other people's privacy, but nope! That's a lie you tell yourself. So what do you do when you wanna say, Google 'Rape Party'? You can't sit there and explain to them why you're googling Rape Party, that's just absurd. But if you don't say anything about it they're going to think you're a sick freak. And even if you DO explain it to them, they probably won't get the humor. So what do you do? You google Rape Party anyway, and laugh silently to yourself. In fact, it'll probably convince them to leave sooner.

No luck. This girl is clearly not paying attention to my Rape Googling ways.

Well Allie, we'll throw a party for you. I'll send you the address. :) It'll be like an adventure! You'll be on edge the whole time! Trying to figure out whether or not it's actually a Rape Party or just an honest to goodness party in honor of your Internet fame thrown by total strangers. And the cake may or may not be a lie.

...The End.


  1. for any who may venture here and wonder wtf I'm talking about. If you don't like her blog then you're just not smart enough to get it. :*